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  • pabbott

Asking for help

What makes is so hard to ask for health? My lovely, brilliant sister, a few yours younger than me, has been seriously ill. I am the family member who lives closest to her and I need to provide her a great deal of care and support. I am exhausted but so reluctant to ask for the help I need. But I am starting to make myself do so. Something as simple as asking a friend for a casserole on a busy day was a hurdle, but one I did overcome. Other neighbors are offering support and would likely do whatever was needed of them. I need to let people know what I need.

And, I need to let people know what I don't need. I sent out a general appeal to family members asking for assistance. One family member has been and will be helpful, one suggested I "hang in there", and one offered to come to visit in a few weeks if it is convenient for her. She will let me know. Her offer is to stay at my house knowing that I am staying at my sister's house to care for her. Basically, she is offering to use my guest room and dirty my sheets and towels and offer no real support to me or my sister. Cynical, yes. Realistic, yes. I finally decided to tell her I would have to let her know when it would work for me to have her visit. Um, maybe it is those experiences that have left me reluctant to ask for help.

I know I need to take care of myself. How to do it, exactly? I will work on that.

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